Un-delegated carer
It’s funny how things changed in what seemed like a split second. I do not think that I will ever erase the memory of going to bed a fit and healthy and waking up the opposite. Getting used to what I call my ‘new life’ is proving to be difficult. I am trying to embrace it as I feel that would be my way forward but it is not easy. On top of getting used to the idea of being ill I also have to get used to something else which I sometimes find difficult to admit.
My family and partner have gradually become my carers, picking up the pieces and completing what I can not do. All my life I have always worked to get what I like, making it possible by my self. It is sometimes difficult to comprehend the fact that I now have to rely on others to achieve or get something done as it is very frustrating. I sometimes wonder how my partner keeps up with the emotions caused by my pain.
I worry it would create strain on the relationship as he is a carer and a therapist. It is a big change and he reassures me that he stands by me and is ready to live this ‘new life’ with me. I can’t help but ponder on what goes through his head sometimes. The support he has given me is beyond words, he never changed his ways towards me even when the condition started. I sometimes wonder whether he is in denial or perhaps that is his way of dealing with it. He almost makes me feel as though everything is still possible.
